I haven't time to read the thread yet. But my experience is that after a while the subs kick in, i.e. break in. I didn't even know that SWs needed a break in period. I don't know if this has been mentioned back there, but properly working SWs don't blare bass at you. They transmit bass throughout the system so that you don't orient on the positioning of the SWs: you don't say, "Oh, the bass is coming from there." So you are not supposed to get bass vibrations from the floor up through your body to tell you that the subs are working.
I wouldn't know how small or big our subs are. This much is true: older recordings, or any that have moderate amounts of bass track will not be augmented bigger by the subs. But when I play something that has a lot of bass, the SWs belt it out. When I first got my car, the dealer put the bass at +10. After a couple of weeks I felt the bass was a bit excessive and reduced it to +4. Right now I have the system set at -2 bass, zero mid tone, and +2 high tone. This is the best compromise for the wide range of music I listen to. The bass is more than enough when there is a lot of bass. My wife still thinks it is too much (but look at our ages; she's 66; we grew up with acid rock, ferpetesakes, but that "skill set" is gone for her, heh!).